SELF-'MAID' DESTRUCTION

A long way back when I was in 5th standard, my computer teacher had introduced me to the word Intranet. When workstations are connected within a particular building (school, office) for sharing certain information, the network is called intranet. Now with the better technology there have been certain substitutes for Intranet which are cheap as well. But then nothing is cheap enough for women who have the habit of purchasing a product below its actual cost (as they can’t get it for free) until and unless the shopkeeper is down with tears! For them I guess it was very easy to generate an Intranet for their apartments, colonies which are very easily accessible as well ~ MAIDS! Now stop imagining Kantaben from Kal Ho Na Ho…as there are thousands of them. These maids are smart enough to earn in form of cash, delicious food, clothes just by gossiping with various housewives about various housewives in the best innovative way possible.


“Mrs. Khanna wore that pink sari thrice this month!! Mrs. Dixit had a long fight with her husband today!! Mrs. Sinha is planning to buy a new car. I saw Mrs. Mehta’s daughter roaming around with the boy who lives in flat number 68. One day I also saw her with Mrs. Desai’s son, the one who has a good height I had told u ?” These are statements which might be true but generally they are ‘Maid Made’. A maid without gossips in her kitty would remain jobless no matter how good a cook or a baby sitter she is and a maid who is better in cooking gossips as compared to food will keep earning even if the recession lasts for the next 100 years!

The point to observe is the adjustment and the tone between the housewives and these maids. The maids are well aware of their Market Value and that’s the reason why they never arrive on time and depart before time. During their working hours it’s difficult to differentiate as to who is working for whom. In the absence of these maids, the housewives vomit words full with venom (obviously to their husbands) “Enough is enough! She is late again! Have you noticed her body language? Am I her servant! She takes leaves on her own! She knew that there was more to do today that’s why @$%#$%# is late! Who the hell does she think she is? She so rude all the time! And you…you never even utter a word? Aren’t you supposed to take my side? Are you listening? Ohk! Let her come today! I’ll show you who I am and I will kill that Maharani today!” Husbands have lately understood the proper use of both the ears (entry and exit of words). This art has made them happier for sure.

And there she comes. Silence rules all over the house. The only question that is put to the maid is “Why are you late?” That’s the only time the owner of the house speaks. As then the Intranet is activated and she activates gossips which she has in plenty, beginning from how she abused the other maid who used to work with Mrs. Khanna earlier and then how Mrs. Khanna and Mrs. Singh had a huge fight for ABC-MNO-XYZ reasons and how ill mannered is Mrs. Mehta’s daughter along with all of her affairs (non existing they might be). By the time this conversation gets over housewives and maids would have become best of friends and there is no complain whatsoever. The husbands are used to this everyday so they keep themselves busy in their newspapers (now a days they get them in plenty just to show themselves more involved in some other stuff) or watching highlight of a match for the hundredth time!

These maids are responsible for care taking, cooking food, cleaning the house and the utensils. But with their superb Intranet abilities they are a disaster for any family. I mean at times the housewives blast out at their husbands just because of some problem that is caused by her maid. Let us see what happens on a ‘No-Maid’ day. No maid means more of work in kitchen for the housewives moreover no ‘Apartment Updates’ for her(this hurts a lot!). More work in the kitchen means she has to do it all alone. Doing it all alone means she has to curse someone for the maid being absent. “I am fed up of her. I will have some other maid as she thinks I can’t get a better one. She considers herself as the queen of all maids! Let her come tomorrow, I’ll show her who she is!” Nobody is listening (as the hubby is a spectator and the children are wise enough to get homeless in such hopeless situations) so now it’s the time for the hubby to listen. “Can you lower down the volume of the television!!!? Am I a dog barking here all the time!? Did you pay the electricity bills? The bulb in the next room isn’t working! Even that is my responsibility na? You allllll (the number of L’s combines her complete family) take me for granted! ”. Huff! It is deadly to imagine what kind of violence will take place if a family has such 7-8 No Maid days in a month!

The housewives need to understand that these maids will get them nothing more that Self MAID Destruction. Now in this article I have described the relation ship between a house wife and her maid. Men rarely come in the picture (where ever they have they are mere spectators). Shiney Ahuja might be an exception. We all knew him as a Self-Maid…errr Self-Made actor. I haven’t seen his maid but this incident ‘maid’ me think for which reasons could a star like him go crazy after his Maid?? The destruction which the housewives face are temporary ones but the Indian Actor will be remembered now for more of his Self-Maid destruction than his natural acting talent throughout his life! Beware of such……Kantaben’s!