(Click on the image to view in larger size)

SUN-SATIONAL DELHI SUMMER

My consumption of soft drinks increased to a great extent as soon as the temperatures crossed 40 degree mark in the capital. I know, for all those who know even a little about me would ask what’s so new about me consuming soft drinks? In that case I have news (read update) to share. There are two unattended bottles of Thumbs Up in my refrigerator since long and I haven’t paid heed to them. Oh yes, my sister often takes a sip or two from them and the way she is going, I am sure I would take her a decade to finish both of them. I have switched on to a new drink-Rooh Afza! Forget the taste, the name of the drink itself gives so much of relaxation to the mind. Just close your eyes for a second and whisper, “R-o-o-H A-f-z-a-H” I am not too sure but it might have given you momentary relief.

And in spite of knowing that they are toilet cleaners (though I have never wasted the drink for such purposes), I am sure all of you have increased your consumption of your favourite drinks (decide your own). Such is the effect of Delhi Summer.

We recently did a story where the dogs in Bhopal have been biting the passers-by as a result of the soaring temperature. Poor beings I reckon. They can’t carry water bottles in their bags, nor can they wear fancy shades making life miserable for them.

But I wonder if biting is a solution? But wait a second…why not? What do we do when we are helpless and absolutely frustrated just because of the heat? Close our fists? Take deep breaths? Grind our teeth? We do everything possible except biting the passers-by (just imagine yourself doing that in a busy market). Be rest assured to be shooed with bullets and not stones if you do that!

The temperature crossed the 41 degree mark on the last day of April. I was having lunch with some of my friends in a canteen. The fans (read blowers) were just too much to bear and even the food we were having was no different. No one complained of less salt in the food as I am sure everybody sweating litres would have compensated for the deficit. Nobody uttered a word and just somehow gulped the food. That’s what happens during Delhi Summer.

May 04, 2011. As usual I was on my way to office travelling in the DTC bus, that low floor green bus. I was all wet because of the heat and so were others. Finding a seat in a bus was like asking for too much. Using my long hands, I reached the conductor and asked for a ticket. This is a strange feeling when you want (read curse) the conductor to hand over the ticket ASAP. But he would take his own sweet time, tear limited tickets unlimited number of times before handing it over to you. Even before I could receive my ticket, there were people from all corners of the bus forwarding their ‘chillars’ with a ten-rupee-note pleading for tickets.

It’s a very hilarious observing people in a jam-packed DTC bus in a Delhi Summer. Conflicts are bound to occur every now and then. The temperature both inside and outside is unbearable. While the conductor is the one who faces the brunt of the heat most of the times, it is quite frequent that the passengers quarrel and abuse each other. And just to remind you, these are situations which are tolerable under normal circumstances but the Delhi summer brings the devil out of you. I am sure if human beings are legalized for biting each other, most of the cases would be witnessed in the capital as a result of the Delhi summer.

I am sure like me when all of you are out in the heat you wonder if it’s the hottest day in the capital. The rain Gods haven’t shown any mercy to the Delhiites who have been pleading for rain. And mind you, June hasn’t started yet. So keeping sipping your favourite drinks and avoid biting people…kyunki picture abhi baaki hai merey dost!

THE ART OF BEING POONAM PANDEY!

India had just won the World Cup. As the fans jumped and hugged and screamed out of joy I heard someone yell, ‘Yeyyy!! (Pause) (Pause) (Pause) Poonam Pandey kahan hai bey!!’ I just probed if the guy was insane and once I was assured that he was not, I forgot his weird statement and rejoined the celebrations.

People congratulated each other as I saw a bunch of guys having a private discussion. Later on I was told that the topic of their discussion was Poonam Pandey to which I did not respond either as I was too lost thinking about the World Cup triumph.

I logged on to my Facebook account expecting some great patriotic World Cup updates and the first status I got stuck at read, ‘POONAM PANDEY!!!’ Now this was too much. I had to search it out. I did. I googled her image and the screen popped up several pictures of a woman (who looked like a lizard). It was then I came to know about her ‘commitment’ and what she called as ‘an inspirational initiative’ for the Men in Blue to bring the trophy home! This wannabe came up with a statement that ran riots on the social networking sites!

I later read an article where a renowned motivational speaker reacted to her statement. He said that after such a deal, some of the Indian players won’t mind losing the World Cup!

I am sure her next target would be to enter Big Boss season being the most crap contestant and continue with her usual crap. Or just wait for a second. In other ways she needs to be ‘firm’ on her promise for some more time and the reality channels would themselves approach her with the most lucrative deals.

And for all those who are anxious to know about her latest update, she has been hospitalized and will undergo an operation to remove kidney stones. When asked about her unfulfilled daring commitment, the new drama queen reiterated her statement to ‘stay tuned!’

The article is titled as the ‘the art of being Poonam Pandey’ as now it hardly matters if she is up to her commitment or not, as Poonam Pandey is a name which has suddenly grabbed all the eye balls. From an unknown Kingfisher model to the most searched person on the internet she has suddenly risen to instant popularity. She exactly knew how to plot a perfect career ahead. She has been the most Googled, Facebooked, Tweeted person on the net (she still could be), and the only person for whom she could be a real threat is Rakhi Sawant!

हजारों का मसीहा -अन्ना हज़ारे

कैंसर से भी घातक ये जो भ्रष्टाचार है,
कल्पना से कहीं बड़ा इसका आकार है,

वो भूखा हमारे लिए मरने को तैयार है ,
उसे अनदेखा करना क्या सही व्यवहार है?

ना चाहत है ख्याति की , ना पैसे चाहे वो,
इन्साफ सभी के लिए जैसे तैसे चाहे वो,

डरते हैं ये नेता जो बन गया लोक -पाल बिल,
नेताओं और जजों की कुर्सियां जाएँगी हिल,

मुन्नी और शीला को तो खूब गाये तुम,
जो है सच्चा हीरो वो कैसे हो जाए गुम?

गर उसे कुछ हो गया तो मर जायेंगे सभी,
लाख रो लोगे , फिर भ्रष्टाचार मिटेगा ना कभी,

इस देश का युवा जिस दिन जाग जायेगा,
भ्रष्टाचार मुक्त भारत उभर कर सामने आयेगा,

कुछ नहीं कर सकते तो यारों जनचेतना जगाओ,
अन्ना हजारे के सपने से सबको अवगत कराओ!

WHEN THE CUP CAME BACK HOME…

That six sailed into the stands, as firecrackers adorned the sky

The nation rose on its feet and Men in Blue began to cry.

They fought for the Cup, they fought for country’s pride,

Cricket is the only religion which does not divide.

The drum beats deafened the ears and the fans thronged the streets,

There was no end to celebrations, as shops went out of sweets.

It took Men in Blue, 28 years to repeat the history

They held their nerves to perfection that led to the remarkable victory.

They ran holding the tricolor, with their heads held high,

I had a lump in my throat as Tendulkar wept with joy.

It’s altogether a different team that no more succumbs to pressure,

The team is full of gems; the squad is a perfect treasure.

We will cherish these memories forever, when we all bled blue,

When the dream of 1.2 billion people, brilliantly came true.

It was a tribute to the master, the one we love so much,

It was led by MS Dhoni, the captain with a midas touch.

We defeated the arrogant Aussies, we defeated arch-rival Pakistan

Both the wins were overwhelming, it was a reformed Hindustan.

I am proud to be an Indian, I am proud of this Indian team,

My happiness has no boundaries, I want to jump, dance and scream.

It still seems to be a dream, the way we saw them play

We are the World Champions and the memories won’t fade away…

ONE FOR THE MASTER!

I have seen it pretty often that people of our country are too lazy to stand during the national anthem. Some don't want to, some want to but don't, some wait for someone to be the beginner, some do stand up when it’s half over and for some it's just like a music that will last for 52 seconds. But I haven't seen a single soul who doesn't stand when the Tendulkar hits a century. In fact we are all on our feet with folded hands when he is on 99. As he removes his helmet and looks in the sky to thank the Lords who are equally satisfied with what he does, each and every soul of this country and even others applaud the man with a common feeling-'What a player...'

'As honest as Tendulkar' is an example which I will always use throughout my life. In an era where the players of the most powerful teams have on several occasions tried to fool the umpires and everybody else on the ground in a LIVE match, the master has been someone who has walked off the field even when the best of umpires were doubtful of his dismissal. The fact is you don't need an umpire when he is batting; he is honest enough to accept his flaws before giving his 100%. He has been doing this since his debut and he still continues to. This is one of the reasons why we have enormous respect for him and why we refer him as the 'God of cricket'.

He has been playing cricket with the same passion and enthusiasm for 22 years. The man is human and thus he would be having some unachieved desires. Who doesn't want to be a part of the World Cup winning team? In spite of having almost all the batting records in his kitty, this is something which the master has been yearning for. He wouldn't discuss it with anybody and would just concentrate towards selfless contributions one after another, but somewhere in his heart I believe there is the desire to touch the World Cup trophy with those hands that have plundered runs and have contributed when the country's pride was at stake on numerous occasions. And tell me guys is there anybody else on this planet who deserves the trophy more than him?

He has done enough to contribute as a single soul and I reckon if it was possible for an individual to win a World Cup, he would be having four of those by now.

The man has been meeting the expectations of so many fans for a very very long period. A lot has been said about his hundredth ton and people are expecting him to do the honours at the Wankhede Stadium-a ground where the genius has spent all his childhood. As the title might suggest to most of you that the article is about him being 'one short of his hundredth century', I would like to tell you that it was not something which is why I have used it. I meant to say that he is just 'one win short' of the only possible way in which the team can do a little bit for his incomparable contribution to Cricket. The World Cup trophy is the only thing I reckon which can be a perfect tribute to the master. It's something we all want him to hold in his hands.

One thing is for sure, no matter what the result is, no matter how much he scores, I would definitely stand up and pay a tribute to the master as he leaves the field in what would probably be his last World Cup appearance. He is a player who has been a source of inspiration for the youth towards the game, a player who has been the heart of Indian cricket for over two decades and will be forever.

And for all those who have wasted their lives and are still predicting how he would play in his next game, I just have to say-

Your predictions against him, could prove to be your own disaster,

As he is the unmatched genius, he is the master blaster!

Let the game begin!

WHEN THE NATION WENT BERSERK!

A group of shirtless men gathered in front of my apartment and chanted slogans like 'Chak dey India' and 'F**d ki Pakistan ki'. They even carried beer bottles and were at their peak. Now if you minus the slogans from this celebration, such are similar scenes during the Holi festival which is then referred to as hooliganism. As I looked at those men with blurred eyes while the firecrackers adorned the sky, I couldn't believe what I saw next. All the families including women had come out in their balconies to cheer these men who jumped and wept and hugged and did everything possible to ensure their celebrations rocked Lahore!

Never in my life had I seen such a pleasing sight. What is referred to as hooliganism was being cheered by people from the best of families. What would have been an ugly sight on an ordinary day was looking so serene and justified. I even noticed women wiping the corner of their eyes with their dupattas as their men smiled with blurred eyes. Such is the charm of the game. An Indian victory over arch-rival Pakistan is an occasion where feelings beyond cricket are expressed.

I too blew my vuvuzela as hard as I could and I left for my office as I had a night shift. I had just walked a few steps where I once again met a mob. It was the time for some bhangda celebrations. As a man counted “one-two-three,” deafening drums began the carnival during mid night. Such celebrations are not seen even during Lohri or other festivals. Just to remind you that every third person was a stranger but who gave a damn keeping in mind the extraordinary occasion!

I somehow managed to reach the main road where I was sure I wouldn't find an auto rickshaw just like I didn't find the washer man during the day time. And my predictions were correct. After waiting for almost five minutes I decided to join the celebrations a couple of yards ahead. Now this celebration overshadowed all the others! A man with a gun stood in the middle of the road with his aides surrounding him. They stopped each and every vehicle that passed by and asked the driver or the male member to come out for a minute. The aim was not to loot them but to hug each of them for India’s victory which was followed by a hawaayi firing! The policemen also displayed their dancing skills in several celebrations (without demanding any bribe)

The way everyone went berserk has been the talk of the town and the better celebrations lie ahead. India has moved to the final of a World Cup for the third time and to be straightforward, they are just one win away from what can be referred as ‘the day for many lives.’

For all those people who believe men don’t cry April 02 is ‘the day’. Emotions will come out in a way like never before. While India clash against Sri Lanka at the Wankhede Stadium, no matter what is the result, men will cry for sure. And the way team India is bleeding blue right through this World Cup, folks be ready to bask in the glory of a much anticipated World Cup victory! We are in Mumbai to rewrite the history!

Armaano ko dilon mein sanjo k tum rakhna, kuch aisi wo jashna ki raat hogi,

Sitaare bhi hongey nazaare bhi hogey, us CUP sey hamari jo mulaqaat hogi!

Jai Hind!