REVENGE - How I got rid of the spoiled b'rats'

In my apartment in East of Kailash, I was really having a tough time since it was infested with rats. When I say infested, I mean it because it seemed as if the entire family had come for a vacation and their local relatives had joined in.

While they were having a blast, the condition of my kitchen was deteriorating and every morning, my maid gave me that why-don’t-you-do-anything-about-it look!

One of the rats was using a carton as its 1BHK, as I could hear it biting stuff inside it and there seemed to be no check-out plan for him.

Meanwhile, one of my friends had come to my place as he needed to undergo a minor surgery on his face. One evening, after I returned from office, this friend shared his ordeal, “Aaj hamko choooha kaat liya! $^$%^$%&%^ ki himmat dekho, itna bada insaan bed par so raha hai, aur wo bed par chadhkar kaat lia!! Hadd hai!”

I looked at my friend’s face which had fresh stitches. For a second, I thought it was quite possible that the mouse would have bitten there. I obviously didn't tell him about my weird observation, since it would have only added to his panic.

Days passed by, and I went back to my hometown for Diwali holidays. The day I came back, I almost collapsed after entering my room! The bed sheets had been bitten, bits of papers were scattered in every corner. While I stood there in disbelief, one of the senior rats rushed past me, stopped for a second and looked at me and I almost shouted, “Karaaaara Jawaaab Milegggga!” at it (Manoj Vajpayee style - - Gangs of Wasseypur)

The same day, I went to the market and bought a mouse trap. All these years, I had seen people using rat killers to get rid of rats, but the only issue with that is they die in never-seen-before areas of your house and stink forever. Thus, the mouse-trap was a safer option.

Now, for those who are not aware of its technicalities, there are two doors in a mouse trap. A hook is attached to one of them, from which you need to hang something for the rat to eat, the moment it does, the hook which has a string attached with one of the doors, unhooks and the creepy creature is trapped!

While I was contemplating over the item to hang from the hook, since the rat had bitten my friend some time back, it for sure, was a non-vegetarian. Backing my weird observation, I hung a half Chicken Salaami from the hook and was off to sleep. Before sleeping, I was left wondering whether the ploy would work and what if the rat ate the salami and scurried off unscathed.

“Khatt!” I was drowsy when I heard this sound from my kitchen. While I was too sleepy to notice what it was, only once I woke up and went to the kitchen did I realize that my mission was successful! I had trapped the first rat of my life!

It was also a terrifying scene considering the size of the rat. I decide to take a photo, as I was sure the entire experience would make up for an interesting Blog post. The moment the rat saw me approaching towards it, it started panicking and ran from one door of the mouse-trap to the other. It possibly knew its end was near. I took a couple of photos and was still not convinced with them.

By now, the rat which was panicking a while ago, had begun to enjoy itself. While I tried my best to capture a decent photo, it was quite pleased with the photo session and had started to pose. It was too keen to get the perfect DP, and probably was already calculating the number of likes it would get.

The rat had been trapped. Another challenging task lied ahead of me, which was to dispose it off. I was reminded of my childhood days where often Chacha Chaudary would use his 'Computer sey tez dimaag' and would throw the rat on one of his enemies (Dhamaka Singh, Gabbar Singh). But I could not see myself walking on the road, with a mouse-trap and people staring at me. So I decided to let the rat free, from some height (read fourth floor).

I went to my balcony holding the trap machine with a cloth from one end, at the same time opened the door of the second end, and after some struggle, the rat was seen flying down its way to the ground. ‘Thudd’ – was the sound I heard after a few seconds and didn’t bother to look down.

You guys cannot even imagine how relieved I was! It was a major accomplishment for me and few days later, the same process was repeated to trap a kin of the disposed rat.

I am now a sort of expert and you can happily contact me, if these creepy, crawly spoiled b‘rats’ enter your house for a vacation!